I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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