My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize