oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
