Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
