omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
