Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
