Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
