You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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