how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
