nut hugger
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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