Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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