I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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