So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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