I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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