yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
