I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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