the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
