Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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