sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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