i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
