there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Michael Bay diarrhea
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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