Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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