I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
