TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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