i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
No subtext here. People are naked.
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Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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