I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
