benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Randomize
