Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
