How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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