I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
