He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
