He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
