i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
