Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
