He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just found puke in my bra..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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