Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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