It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
