wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He better not be in your backpack
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
