and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
