I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
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