why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
