This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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