I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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