sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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