i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize