I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I still have a little drunk in my system
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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