At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
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The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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