Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
found the other keg... it's in the tree
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
