im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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