that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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