Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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