So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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