hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize