hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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