i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
