I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
