You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
