Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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