everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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