is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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