sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
