Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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