i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
honey bunches of taint.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We need a shit load of segways right now
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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